Tips for Helping Your Family Navigate Through the Dog Days of Summer

If you are a parent or guardian, this can be a challenging time, especially when there is an expectation that things will go back to exactly the way they were before your student left for college.

Of course, it is best to communicate openly with students about expectations prior to the start of a summer at home, but if those conversations have not happened yet, it’s not too late. So here are some tips on how to handle common situations:

Sleeping and Eating Patterns: Be attentive to your student’s sleeping and eating patterns. Recognize that these patterns may be very different from what they were before college, and that's okay.

In college, students often juggle studying, jobs, internships, socializing, and other activities at various times of the day and night, so they may have a completely different sleeping schedule than they did while living at home. Also, remember that some students have access to food on demand at all hours while at school and their eating habits may have changed. Expect schedules to be different and talk with your student about how the family can best accommodate the student’s new patterns while also respecting the needs of others in the family.

Additionally, concerned family members should keep an eye on excessive or inadequate sleeping and eating patterns, which can be warning signs of deeper problems such as anxiety, depression and disordered eating. Always start by calmly addressing these with your student, and if necessary, contact your health care provider for guidance.

Socializing and Curfews: In the summer students often reconnect with old friends and may be accustomed to the freedom they had at school to stay out as late as they want. Acknowledge this as a new reality, but also talk with your student about what you need to be comfortable. Talk about possible solutions. These can include not setting rigid curfews but agreeing that your student will share their location and expected arrival time to allay your worries.

Also, take note if you believe your student seems more isolated from friends and is spending too much time alone. The root of this could be simple, such as your student is changing and growing apart from past friends, or perhaps has a minor conflict with their friend group. However, it could also be more complicated, and could be due to depression. Be sure to start a conversation with your student and listen carefully.

Participation in Family Activities: Parents and guardians are often so happy to have time in the summer to reconnect with their student that they create expectations that everyone will slide back into regular traditions, such as taking a family vacation together. Yet students now may have a summer job or internships or may be pursuing new interests through volunteer work and may not want or be able to take time off.

It is best not to make this a battleground. It is a positive sign that your student is showing newfound independence, and it is helpful for them to learn how to navigate the structure adulthood often demands. Be open to compromising with your student in ways that support each of your needs, such as by shortening the family vacation, allowing them to invite a friend to join you, or agreeing on a vacation location that is of interest to everyone.

Overall, it is a good idea for everyone to remember that this summer at home could be one of the last summers with your student before they launch full force into adulthood and a busy career. Try not to spend this valuable time arguing about the small stuff and make sure to cherish the important moments you have together